I was lucky enough to work at the Crest Theater in Sacramento, California recently. I talked to a woman who described herself as a, “full time activist.” I felt tired just thinking about it. It seems so active. I’m so glad I’m a stand-up comic. I travel a lot, but I mostly just have to sit on a plane. I don’t have to flap. I learn a lot from everyone that I meet, although...

Our Von’s grocery store has a case of soups, not far inside the store, that bears the sign: CHEF INSPIRED SOUPS. I’ve bought some of the soups before, not because I thought they were “Chef Inspired,” but because I don’t cook, and I didn’t yet realize how chock full of fat and salt they are. That too may have been “Chef Inspired.” I don’t know. I didn’t even notice the sign the first...

People sometimes think I’m well informed, because I’m lucky enough to be heard on NPR’s ‘Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me.” For those of you who don’t know, it’s a weekly news quiz show. I get to be a part of a panel of three, about once a month or so. I lose a lot, even though I study the news on the weeks that I’m on. Although, the study sessions are a bit brief sometimes. How much I know...

I got a call from my son’s school counselor saying that he did not yet have his school planner book. Santa Monica schools call it the “Binder Reminder.” It’s an assignment book with a holograph of the school on the cover, pages on which to write assignments, and daily inspirational platitudes. The platitudes are stuff like, “Aim high,” “Be a friend,”...

It’s Saturday, September 10th. I arrived at my hotel in Madison, Wisconsin about an hour ago. I’m a butter lover in a dairy state. I flew in this morning from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, which was as close as I could get to my job in Ephrata, Pennsylvania by plane. When I went to take my pouch of toothbrushes, floss, and personal hygiene items out of my suitcase it wasn’t there. I’ve...