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School begins at 8:30 A.M. It takes us twelve minutes to walk there. This morning we left at 8:22 A.M. As we began the first block I heard my son making frustrated noises of discontent.

THOMAS E: This stupid watch. It won't stay on it needs another hole.

ME: I can help with that sometime, but not now. It's time to go to school. I don't know why you brought that watch. If you wanted to play with it you should have gotten up when I told you. It is only going to frustrate you and you don't know how to tell time anyway.
THOMAS E: I do too. It's 4:40 o'clock.
ALLEY: We're really early. Let me see it. (looking at the watch) No, it's 4:44.
ME: Well then we're not that early.
ALLEY: Oh look, a tennis ball.

THOMAS E: I want one.
ME: There was only one.
THOMAS E: I want one.
ME: It's not a store it's the stom drain and there was only one tennis ball.
THOMAS E: We have to share it.

ALLEY: No, we don't.
THOMAS E: Mo-om, Alley won't share.
ME: Alley, please share.
THOMAS E: Then I'm not going to share with you and I'm going to punch you in the nose.
ME: Thomas E, that's not a good solution. We don't want to hurt anyone.
THOMAS E: I do.
ME: Oh. Well, then I don't know what to say to you.
THOMAS E: Alley, can I have it after you?
ME: Thomas E, that's not a nice asking voice.
THOMAS E: Alley, can I please have it after you?
ALLEY: No.
ME: Alley, he asked nicely.
ALLEY: Well, I don't like to share with him because he doesn't give stuff back.
ME: Thomas E, please give it back when she asks for it.
THOMAS E: I w-i-l-l.
ALLEY: Okay. I'll give it to you at the end of this block.
ME: This is the street where all of the cop cars and fire trucks were when they drove President Reagan's body from the hospital. Homeless people were all up and down the sidewalks to pay tribute to him.
THOMAS E: You said you'll give it to me at the end of this block.
ALLEY: I am.
ME: It's a tennis ball. It really shouldn't take that long to hand to someone. (Alley gives him the ball) Thank you, Alley. We're gonna be late. Could we hurry please?

ALLEY: O.K. you had a turn. I want it back.
THOMAS E: No. It's mine now.
ME: Thomas E, that's why Alley doesn't like to share with you.
ALLEY: I told you he wouldn't give it back.
ME: He will give it back. Thomas E, give it back. You guys, we're late. If you wanted to fight over a tennis ball you needed to get up when I told you to.
THOMAS E: It's 4:58 o'clock.

*my watch 8:35 A.M.*

ALLEY: How come we're always late?
NOTE: neither of my children play tennis.