I watched a few minutes of KCAL’s on-line coverage of downtown
L.A. last night, and I began to Tweet, because it was more than I
In their coverage of the L.A.P.D. clearing the Occupy L.A.
protesters, the local newscasters are practically begging for
“Looks like emotions are running a little bit higher between the
police and the protesters now, Bob what do you think?” “I hope so,
“We are live at the L.A. encampment, where we go to our reporter
Bob, who will poke the protesters with a stick.”
“Bob, is it possible that these people have weapons? They seem
quite angry?” “They could, Mary, and wouldn’t that just be a darned
“Bob, I notice a young woman with green hair there behind you,
and she’s crying. See if you can talk to her. This is so moving.”
“I’ll try, Mary, but it is at great personal risk. Many of these
peaceful protesters seemed to have just been poked with a stick.”
“Mary, I’m here with the woman with green hair, and indeed her
emotions are running high. I think I can get her to cry some more.
“Ma’am, I’m Bob..We are live on KCAL at the Occupy L.A. protest.
Police are clearing the encampment. Did you know you have green hair?”
“Mary, now I’ve really got her boo-hooing. Can we go in tight?” “
Bob, this is the kind of in depth coverage people have come to expect.
“Bob?” “Yes, Mary?” “We’re good, aren’t we?” “We’re fantastic, Mary.”
“Mary, it looks like the L.A.P.D. is about to move in a strategic
pattern.” “Can you see the pattern from where you are, Bob?”
“I believe I can, Mary. It appears they are moving their left
feet in, and then their left feet out.” “Bob, can we go in tight,
“Mary, I don’t know if you can see this, but two officers are
taking down a tent, and they can’t find all of the poles.” “GO IN
“Mary, the protesters are continuing to chant that they are the
99%, and yet, there seem to be more than 99 here. I don’t get it.”
“Mary, with all of these tents you’d think there’d be some
marshmallows, wouldn’t you? I’m gonna drill down on this, Mary.”
“You’re on fire tonight, Bob. Interview another protester.”"
About the marshmallows, Mary?” “No, Bob, about the protest.”
“This is Bob, for KCAL in downtown L.A., where police are moving
strategically towards protesters, who I am desperately hoping will
“You’re watching KCAL. We go live to Bob at the stand off between
police and occupy L.A. protesters, where he is looking for
“This is Bob for KCAL in downtown Los Angeles, where police are
now performing scary hand shadows on the tent walls of the
“Mary?” “Yes, Bob?” “I’m telling you there’s more than 99 people
here.” “Bob, I don’t think that’s what the phrase means.”
“Don’t contradict me, Mary. We’re live.” “Bob, I’m the anchor. We
can just go to a possible police chase while you get yourself
“You’re watching KCAL’s live coverage of something that might
happen if we can keep you here long enough. I’m Mary. Bob, are you
“Mary, I’m coming live, inside this tent. Unfortunately, there’s
no room for the camera in here. You’ll just have to take my word for
“Mary?” “Yes, Bob?” “You know how you make that little joke when
you transition from story to story?” “Yes, Bob.” “I never get it.”
Two of my followers expressed concern about my jokes, and so, I
posted the obvious:
Thanks. My jokes are not about the movement, which I very much
appreciate, but about the local, blood thirsty coverage.
Again, thank you Occupy L.A.. Thank you, Occupy Wall Street.
Thank you, you brave U. C. Davis students.