I Have This Poster To Offer Someone

I have this canvas poster of, well, me. It feels a bit awkward
saying so. I worked at the Lyric Theater, and they had it made. It’s
one of those banners that they hang in the downtown area to tell of
upcoming cultural events. Anyways, the Lyric Theater kindly sent it to
me. I don’t know what it was about me that made them think I would
hang a banner of myself in my home. Apparently I kind of give off that
vibe. I have a giant, framed, George Hurrell photograph of Katherine
Hepburn hanging in my room, and once, when my sister was visiting, she
thought it was a picture of me. I was flattered by the physical
comparison, but a bit stung by the perception that I would hang a big
picture of myself in my bedroom.
Mostly on my walls I have my children’s art work. I also have a
lot of lists. It doesn’t help. I can’t remember a damned thing. I
still think Leonardo DaVinci’s parents must have had almost no space
on the front of their refrigerator “Isn’t that wonderful, Leonardo,
another picture of a naked man in a circle. We’ll put that up right
here by the handle.”
Frankly, I couldn’t sleep if there was a big picture of me on my
wall. I get a bit obsessed with my jowls. I vaguely suspect that both
Paul McCartney and a bloodhound are hidden somewhere in the branches
of my family tree. I’m a badge and a swearing in away from being
Deputy Dawg.
So, with gratitude to the Lyric Theater, I’d like to offer this
canvas poster of, uhm…me, to the first person to con six of their
friends into following me. I’m sorry, but I had to make it a contest
just to stop myself from secretly writing in to get it.

Paula Poundstone


  1. jeanlass says:

    If only I knew six people who don’t already follow you…

  2. 'Ragin Bull' says:

    *thumbs up* More followers to the tweets are my hopes,.and your only paranoid about the McCartneyism. -Banners are supposed to hang like that.

  3. Catherine says:

    Follow you as in on any of the social networks or on your website?

  4. degnerd says:

    Signing in as a friend of Aubrey Marron who wants your poster for a charity action. DegnerD

  5. Jenny Yasi says:

    Okay, it seems slightly complicated to enter this contest, but I’ll give it a whirl, so if I win your poster I can hang it in my big tent thingy when we have dog comedy night, and do incantations to bring your funny self one day to Peaks Island

  6. My sister and i have been fans for a long time. She would really like to win the poster. She was very upset when she could not get tickets for the Lyric!

  7. Judyh0311 says:

    Well I follow your website, I follow you on FB and I follow you on Twitter. If I follow you anywhere else I’ll surely get arrested for stalking but would love the poster.

  8. mousejones says:

    got any wallet sized?

  9. Moes Mom says:

    Here’s a thought give it to someone who donates to 6 animal shelters…….

  10. Knotrite says:

    The kind of people I hang with are mostly sick and twisted. If I were to encourage them to follow you, you’d end up with a gaggle of stalkers. Careful what you wish for.

  11. BloggerUser says:

    I can’t even find 6 people to carry my coffin. Just checked out your tour – you’re all over the map, but not in Seattle…yet? You go from Jersey to Montana to New Hampshire to Calif.? Who does your scheduling, the NBA?

© 2018 Lipstick Nancy, Inc. All rights reserved.   |   Contact   |   Website by KNICKNACK