16 cats like Paula Poundstone
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Tweets From A Night’s Event...
I watched a few minutes of KCAL’s on-line coverage of downtown L.A. last night, and I began to Tweet, because it was more More »
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Occupied By Thoughts...
Lately now, I feel like Norma Rae, when she tells her husband, who complains about her busy schedule, that he can have sex More »
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11:34am |
Forget about my lack of policy knowledge. A ball with a bell in it, and 16 cats would be fantastic in the Oval Office. [#]
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11:31am |
Newt didn't realize that when Mitt takes the gloves off, he's still wearing a mitt. [#]
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11:29am |
I have 4 litter boxes for 16 cats. I'm not ashamed of my success. Can I be president? [#]
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| Yesterday | ||
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2:40am |
Newt Gingrich says that by the end of his 2nd term he'll have a Freddy Mac Historian office on the moon. [#]
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7:25pm |
I was too stupid to even dream the dream. [#]
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7:24pm |
We just drove by "The Grass Seed Capitol." I never even thought of where it came from, let alone dreamed that I would be near the Capitol. [#]
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10:16am |
My hair id doing something very creative, yet unattractive this morning. [#]
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10:16am |
You are all right about my math error on the quart/pint issue. Thank you. This certainly explains years of bad cookies. [#]
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| January 25th | ||
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12:42am |
I don't know any other way to say this. They've added a second show for me at The Aladdin Theater in Portland Saturday night. [#]
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11:54pm |
I just ate 3 peanut butter cups. One more, and I've eaten a peanut butter pint. [#]
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11:52pm |
I'm in Portland, Oregon. It's like living beneath a plant mister. [#]
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11:42pm |
L.A. Times says drinking 3 cups of tea per day lowers blood pressure. It could be from walking back and forth to the bathroom. [#]
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11:30pm |
On Fri. Feb. 3rd I'll be at The Rogue Theatre in Grants Pass. I'm finally gonna pass something http://t.co/pNRVXbYh [#]
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9:24pm |
I'm looking at a college with my daughter. I saw some of the students playing ping-pong. They sucked. I won't let her go here. [#]
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10:10am |
I'm thinking of taking a belly dancing class. Although, I may need the more specialized "pot belly" dancing class. [#]
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| January 24th | ||
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5:43pm |
They've added a 2nd show at The Aladdin Theater in Portland, OR this Saturday! I'll work the kinks out in the first show. [#]
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4:14pm |
Rufus Buzzcut just bore a hole in a mountain of rock. The guy is unbelievable. [#]
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4:13pm |
I had almost forgotten that today was Tuesday, until it started to go bad on me. Now I'm just gonna watch a DVD of WACKY RACES. [#]
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1:02pm |
Although in moments I'll be appearing in the produce aisle in the Vons, Fri. I'll be at The Tower Theater in Fresno http://t.co/OAOhYL0q [#]
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12:42pm |
Disney theme parks will now allow employees to have facial hair. I tried to get a job there in 1978, and they wouldn't hire me. So unfair. [#]
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| January 23rd | ||
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10:48pm |
I have saved enough paper bags to perform NICHOLAS NICKELBY in paper bag puppet theater. I could be a hoarder, or just prepared. [#]
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1:10pm |
They always tell how blacks, hispanics, women, etc. vote. They never show the nutty voter stats, even though that could decide this thing. [#]
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12:59pm |
I had a fantastic time at an event to support California "single payer" insurance last night, as introduced by the great Sheila Kuehl. [#]
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12:31pm |
I'm working with an organizer today. I don't have time to tweet, I'm busy alphabetizing the cats. [#]
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| January 22nd | ||
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4:09pm |
Do dolphins get excited to swim with rich people? [#]
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| January 21st | ||
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1:24am |
Mitt Romney will spend the next week practicing yelling at a John King cardboard cut out. [#]
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12:15am |
It turns out, even the evangelicals like the open marriage idea. This is going to be good for the boxed chocolate industry. [#]
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7:27pm |
I'm about to go to the theater in Charlotte, NC. I hope they've all steered clear of the vio,ence behind The Flying Biscuit. [#]
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1:21pm |
15 min. into Charlotte local news I've heard stories of 5 different local murders. A body was found behind The Flying Biscuit. Gravy? [#]
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1:15pm |
Gingrich surges past Romney in South Carolina Ham House. [#]
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| January 20th | ||
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2:30am |
Next Friday I'm at The Tower Theater in Fresno. I hope to be paid in raisins. [#]
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2:26am |
Ron Paul is so into cutting government he has pledged that if he is elected he will quit. [#]
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12:49am |
I'm at The Knight Theater in Charlottle, NC tomorrow. I'll bet I can find some good biscuits [#]
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12:44am |
Somebody tried to sell the buttock from the famous Sadam Hussein statue. That'd look lovely in any home. [#]
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7:45pm |
I'm getting ready to go on in North Carolina. How do I tell them that they are not that far north? [#]
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1:57pm |
Newt says question about his ex's claims is, "as close to dispicable as anything I can imagine." We need a president with more imagination. [#]
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8:34am |
Middle seat LAX to Atlanta at 6AM. See how I roll? You got to know how to work it, baby! [#]
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| January 19th | ||
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3:39pm |
It's o.k., Iowa, anyone can make a mistakes. [#]
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3:32pm |
It's o.k. South Carolina. Counting is hard. Anyone can make a mistakes. [#]
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3:21pm |
Fresno Fri. Jan.27, Portland, Oregon Sat. Jan. 28th, all I can tell you now. Can't talk. Cat pee everywhere http://t.co/OAOhYL0q [#]
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11:54am |
The Governor of the killingest state in the nation just said he believes in redemption. God asks Rick Perry to put a sticker on the keepers. [#]
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11:51am |
Rick Perry said, "What we need in Washington is a place that is more humble," and then he endorsed Newt Gingrich. Thank you, Tweedle-Dee. [#]
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| January 18th | ||
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10:40pm |
Gingrich points out that Romney speaks French, but that he does not. Romney says he only speaks a little. "I'm dumber." "No, I'm dumber." [#]
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10:38pm |
ABC says Romney has millions of dollars in accounts in the Cayman Islands. I'm jealous again. [#]
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5:36pm |
On March 2nd I'm gonna be in Westbury, NY at Theatre at Westbury http://t.co/MJMhh7YO There, it's been said. [#]
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5:32pm |
Wikipedia black out shuts down eighth grade research report production in the entire United States of ? [#]
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2:45pm |
l.A. Times says, "Hollywood Hills Combed After Discovery Of Head." It's all about the do here. [#]
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| January 17th | ||
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10:37pm |
L.A. Times says, "Obesity in U.S. Levels Off." Great. Let's eat. [#]
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7:19pm |
BBC says, a chinese company has "scrapped plans for a Steve Jobs doll." Oh, there are going to be some disappointed kiddies. [#]
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5:11pm |
It appears, from the Republican Debates, that none of them know that a 2nd show was added Sat. Jan. 28th at the Aladdin in Portland, OR [#]
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