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2:47pm |
This Saturday night I'm gonna be in Clinton Township, MI http://www.macombcenter.com and I want to congratulate them on becoming a ship. [#]
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2:35pm |
The Partridge Family kept their garage so nice, it always made me feel bad about myself. That, and the music. [#]
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| March 9th | ||
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11:46pm |
This Fri. I'm gonna be telling my little jokes in York, PA, which was named after Dick York from BEWITCHED http://www.strandcapitol.org [#]
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8:57pm |
The Joneses have slowed down and I still can't keep up. [#]
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| March 8th | ||
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4:07pm |
I notice, in the book CESAR'S WAY, by the Dog Whisperer, his solution to every problem is to walk the dog. I'll let you know if it helps. [#]
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| March 7th | ||
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6:44pm |
I forgot the Oscars were tonight. I'll have to wear boxers and a halter top because my gown's not ready. Oh, bother. [#]
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2:02pm |
Playing a show in Santa Barbara, CA at 7:00 PM today at UC Santa Barbara's Campbell Hall Theater http://artistdata.com/a/290 [#]
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5:18am |
Larry King asked the Dalai Lama about Tiger Woods, which is great because he hasn't really had a chance to think about Tiger Woods, or golf [#]
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| March 6th | ||
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9:15pm |
I hope it's not too late to tell Santa Barbara adjacents that I'll be telling my little jokes there https://artsandlectures.sa.ucsb.edu [#]
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6:41pm |
I feel like I'm working my ass off, but when I reach back, there it is, and it seems to be thriving. [#]
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6:39pm |
My kids and I are running the snack bar at a gym meet. We're like the Stooges. I think some hot dogs may have escaped for free. [#]
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4:15pm |
The last time I took Southwest to Oakland I fell asleep on the plane, and flew to Portland. Now I'm flying SW to Sacramento. I'm worried. [#]
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3:03pm |
Playing a show in Sacramento, CA at 8:00 PM today at Crest Theatre http://artistdata.com/a/1tq [#]
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| March 5th | ||
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2:48am |
My kids and I worked at the snack bar gymnastics meet tonight. We were like the Stooges. I think some hot dogs went out cold. [#]
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7:13am |
Now that the Olympics are over, everyone seems to be back to ignoring curling. Odd. [#]
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| March 4th | ||
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12:11am |
Why do I have this feeling that the whole world is sneaking around behind my back? What? I heard that. [#]
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4:53pm |
have a Reality T.V. show idea: Each week we have a Canadian live in a house where everyone explains to him that hockey is just a game. [#]
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2:40pm |
After news of a kid getting a turn to do air traffic control, I panicked when a toddler boarded my flight. Fortunately he cried in the back. [#]
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| March 3rd | ||
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1:45am |
wait wait... this weekend. [#]
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4:50pm |
Djoo hear the kid doing the Air Traffic Control job at JFK? I advise you not to fly at all on "Bring Your Daughter To Work Day." [#]
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| March 2nd | ||
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2:44am |
Sacramento sat,3/6 2 best-seat tkts. tweet @paulapoundstone why U want em by 6p weds (3/3) pst
http://www.thecrest.com/calendar/calendar.cfm [#]
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11:53pm |
I'm gonna be part of an Arts and Lectures series at UCSB on Sunday. I'm art https://artsandlectures.sa.ucsb.edu [#]
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9:47pm |
Although I have known the words to th Hermans Hermits Henry The 8th song since I was a child, I just understood them Sunday night. [#]
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9:41pm |
I can see where rugby could be fun if you knew the rules,and no one tackled you. [#]
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2:26pm |
I don't know what you take for this, but my enthusiasm is waning. [#]
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| March 1st | ||
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2:48am |
I do seem to have a habit of putting the wrong date down for these shows. I'll be in Sacramento this Sat. March 6, 1978. Can't wait. [#]
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7:37pm |
I've decided to be funnier than I usually am in Sacramento on March 3 http://www.thecrest.com/calendar/expand.cfm?EventID=3282 [#]
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4:45pm |
Partisan bad blood builds:Mitch McConnell seen painting picture of train tunnel opening on solid wall of Democrats' cloak room in Senate. [#]
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11:03am |
The Washington Post said today that manure had become so abundant as to be a pollutant, but it turned out they meant from cows. [#]
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| February 28th | ||
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12:03am |
I'm gaining weight for the Tsunami. [#]
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| February 26th | ||
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10:47pm |
If jowls ever come into fashion I'm gonna be on the cover of every magazine but RANGER RICK. [#]
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10:42pm |
Hard to get to the theater in Bellingham, WA tonight. Lots of streets blocked and packed since my Theodore Pie Youtube vid went viral. [#]
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6:47pm |
My Theodore Pie video went up from 313 views to 316 views. Hold on! We're going viral folks! [#]
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4:47pm |
Published It’s Here: PAULA’S NEW WEBSITE!
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12:40pm |
The security line at Alaska Airlines is huge today, because they are wanding, and lint-lifting each passenger. I have 13 cats. Works for me. [#]
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10:52am |
NBC can't afford Leno after Conan's severance. THEODORE PIE UNEXPECTED PICK http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJXx32lsoc0 [#]
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| February 25th | ||
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4:33pm |
I heard a lot of celebrities have "people" to do their Twitter for them. Who will? I can't even farm out sifting my litter boxes. [#]
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2:27pm |
I just met with some really nice guys from "Ustream." I was the only one wearing hipboots. I thought it was a fishing company [#]
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11:53am |
I'm gonna be in Bellingham, WA tomorrow night. It's silly for me to go if you don't http://www.mountbakertheatre.com/events [#]
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11:33am |
If the rest of you would take more naps I think I could catch up. [#]
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| February 24th | ||
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1:52am |
Why was Michelle Obama on Larry King last week? She knows nothing about Anna Nicole Smith. [#]
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12:01am |
When the toilet paper roller came out of the wall, chips of plaster with it as it fell, I had no idea it would be the highlight of my day. [#]
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6:00pm |
I'm listening to a book of philosophy. It's hurting my head. RAMONA THE PEST is better. [#]
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1:01pm |
I'm in Sacramento 3/8. Great I can go to the deficit museum http://www.thecrest.com/calendar/expand.cfm?EventID=3282 [#]
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12:55pm |
Published Sacramento!
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| February 23rd | ||
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4:15pm |
I'm gonna be at U. of CA Santa Barbara on 3/7. I'll graduate that night https://artsandlectures.sa.ucsb.edu/Details.aspx?PerfNum=1535 [#]
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11:13am |
This Week Washington Parallyzed By Forty Degrees And Cloudy. [#]
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| February 22nd | ||
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1:11am |
There is no square for a day like today on the board of THE GAME OF LIFE. [#]
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10:00pm |
I played The Game of Life with my kids the other day. It's not very realistic. [#]
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4:12pm |
I'm looking forward to the great crowds, and colonial history of Bellingham, WA
2/26 Bellingham, Wa http://www.mountbakertheatre.com/events [#]
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